The Saga of the Knee Surgery, Recovery Equipment...and the Addition of the Ankle

I had knee replacement surgery toward the end of October. I like to think of myself as part bionic woman now, but I digress.

I was at the surgery center for a little over eight hours, and the knee replacement went well. Part of what they did before closing me up is put in a nerve blocker that would last about two days. What they do to replace a knee involves some bone trauma, and they want you up and moving on that knee before your brain registers what just happened here and makes you afraid to walk on the affected leg. The side effect of the blocker is that the knee can suddenly give out. Hence, you're using a walker and wearing an emergency harness.

I got home without incident, went to the bathroom, then got settled into the guest bedroom, where I've been recuperating. My normal bedroom has a four-poster that requires a small step stool to get up in the bed, and I'm not ready for any kind of stairs. Plus, the guest bathroom is adjacent to this room.

I'll spare you the grisly details, but trip number two to the bathroom did not go as well as trip number one. I stood up after doing my business, my left knee buckled, I grabbed the walker handles, and since the front two legs of the walker have wheels, I was wheels-up and freefalling. My ankle took the brunt of the fall.

Since I was able to walk on the leg, albeit with pain, the thought between me and my doctor was that I badly sprained the ankle.

My physical therapist disagreed and after over a week from the surgery date, I did as my PT asked and had the foot X-rayed. I'd cracked an ankle bone. So in addition to all of the equipment detailed below, I had to add the boot. For four to six weeks. And I have to use the walker as long as I'm wearing the boot.

I had no idea until I had surgery what was involved, equipment-wise, in the recovery process. Here are my helpers...and the nicknames I've given them:

This is my walker, which would have only been in play for three to four weeks if I hadn't broken my ankle. The emergency harness is near the trash can--fortunately, I'm done with the harness.

I've named my walker "Walker, Texas Ranger."

I'll spare you a pic of the raised toilet seat. Suffice it to say, I have one. I also had to temporarily remove the bathroom door to get the walker in and out of the room, so I have zero privacy and have to make announcements into the void like "I'm going to the bathroom. Do not head this way." The raised toilet seat does not need a nickname.

The shower seat doesn't either, but it is necessary.

Before the bandages were removed from the knee, I required a covering for the leg so I could shower.

My husband nicknamed this one the "Leg Condom." We both agreed the bottom portion was oddly shaped but made the protection fit for both humans and mermaids. Fortunately, I'm done with this thing.

Compression socks. Seriously. I have multiple pairs now, but the black knee-high version is my fave.

The ice machine is below. I normally hate the feeling of cold on my skin, but this thing is genius.

You put four frozen water bottles in it with some water, and it keeps icy water flowing through the pad you velcro onto the swollen part--lucky me has two, the knee and the ankle, and I rotate the pad between both.

The pad reminds of the face huggers from the Alien movies franchise, so I call this "the face hugger."

The piece of equipment I'd hoped to be transitioning to, but won't be any time soon, is my cane. I call it "Citizen Cane."

Poor Citizen Cane is collecting dust in the corner of the room because until I get rid of the final piece of equipment below, I have to stick with Walker, Texas Ranger.

Behold my nemesis, Das Boot.

Das Boot will be on for four to six weeks. It is heavy, uncomfortable, and rubs against my ankle bone. No amount of adjusting has improved the unpleasant and painful sensation of wearing Das Boot.

As with all things, this, too, shall pass, but in the meantime, I'm dealing with it.

Slowly.